The Alchemist

Twice in my life I’ve run into the right book at the right time. I’ve read a lot of things that have taught me something new or enlightened my mind but it’s a feeling you get when you read something so profound that just clicks on a light in your brain, that’s what I’ve had two times. The first time was in 2001 when I read For the Time Being by Annie Dillard, I won’t go into that now cause I’ll go off in a tangent, and this time it is the Alchemist. I haven’t gotten that far only to page 67 so don’t worry about spoilers anyone (and if you haven’t gotten to page 67 stop reading now) but already I have that click. The story is about a shepherd boy who abandons all he knows and has to go off in search of his Personal Legend. In the story he runs into a King who explains to him that everyone has a Personal Legend waiting for them to realize it and once you set your wants on something the universe will set things in motion for you to get it. This is an extremely vague summary of this story so far but this is the basis of the point I’m trying to make. Now I have read the Secret by Rhonda Bryne and I do believe in invoking positivity to attract the things I want and the power of that but the perspective of that concept Paul Coelho creates is an eye opener for me. I wonder all the time if I’m preventing myself from realizing my dreams because I can’t step out on that faith and not depend so much on the things I “need” to have to make me, me. I actively “pursue” all of my dreams. I put pursue in quotations because I know, because I can be honest with myself, that I don’t even live up to half my potential while pursuing those dreams and I know that’s a result of me clinging to what I know instead of reaching for what I could have. I dream of having 2 things at this point in my life:

Creative Freedom: I want to write so bad. And I have; I write for myself and for this both of which don’t really count because that’s so safe and I’ll never be able to know the feeling of someone else enjoying the words I wrote and knowing they were from me. This blog while offering me an outlet that was much needed is anonymous it’s me but it’s not me I could bear my soul to you and walk past you on the street and never know the difference. Not that I want fame for my creativity but I would like to know that feeling to stand and say yes that came from me. I’ve been writing since I was a little girl making up illustrated story books for my Dad to read and I’ve never stopped, books are my life line and words are my food so it’s always come natural to me to express myself in this way. I dream to go further with it though I dream for my own ISBN numbers. I dream of taking that step and submitting my work to literary agents and getting published. What’s holding me back? Fear of rejection, which is strange for me to admit because usually I could care less what people think or say but what I write is so personal to me, it’s with me. If someone said something harsh about it I’m not afraid to say it would hurt. I’m also afraid of not being accepted as a writer. I didn’t study anything that would lead me into that career, nothing on paper so that makes me apprehensive. In this book though the boy learns very fast that there is a language spoke by everyone and it’s a language of enthusiasm and wanting something of your own. So if I have the same passion as the next writer what’s stopping me?

Professional Freedom: Starting my own business is something that I've wanted to do seriously for the past 4 years. My idea is practical, realistic and I think it has true potential. I've been working on my business plan for about 2 months and my brainstorm is begining to evolve into a blueprint. So what's holding me back? Fear of losing or drastically decreasing my current lifestyle. Fear of failure, get this, fear of sucess. Is that strange? Let me explain that. I wrote a young adult novel about 4 girls and I have so much more of their story to tell I can feel another story in me maybe even more. But I worry that if i achieve sucess with the first one maybe my creativity machine will dry up and I won't be able to produce. But again that's a limitation I place on myself.

Stepping out on faith for me means fully relying on the talents I have and taking the road I know in my heart and desire is right. The career I have now jobs I've had have only been stepping stones to learn and grow on until I reach my dream.

Confessions of a Bookworm

If I was lost on a deserted island I would want to take the complete inventory of Borders store and the contents of the Vatican Library with me. I love words, it's an obsession I have had since as far back as I can remember and the love affair has only deepened. I read at least two to three books simultaneously at all times. I keep one by my bed, one by the kitchen table and one in my purse so I always have words with me. There are no limitations on my mind when I toss it in a book. I don't need anything but words to transport me off to a far away land or back in time even into the future. I can experience life through the eyes of so many different people and walk in their shoes. Books are the greatest treasure I've ever been given, I started keeping a current list of what I'm reading over to the left so I can share the gift of words with all who care and maybe I'll get a good conversation out of the deal too.