Clink-Clink!

My sister called me today to tell me she'd just gotten out of jail. LMAO this girl is riding around in the suburbs with expired tags, no license and no insurance card. She didn't even know she was in jail until she got back home!! The officer tells her to follow him back to the station, then once they arrived they promptly impounded her car. Then they let her go on an i bond (I have no idea if I'm phrasing that right). The officer told her she had to show up in court on her court date or they would put a warrant out for her arrest, she says she asked the officer, you're kidding is it really that serious and after looking at her crazy for a moment he says YES!!

She got home and asked her boyfriend what an eyes bond was and he said fool you were in jail, this crazy girl didn't even know ROFL.

So in light of that story I thought of our other funny family jail moment....

My mother is probably the most law abiding citizen I know (besides the freebies she thrives on when the cashier at wal-mart forgets to charge her for something) she has never smoked, probably count the drinks she's had in her lifetime on one hand and has never ever done drugs; she's a sweetheart and super innocent and nice. So when I was about 11 and got a collect call from her to tell us she was in jail you can understand our surprise. Apparently she was down town waiting with a gang of people for the CTA bus (public transit for out-of-towners) and the bus pulls up full of people. She claims an plain clothes cop opened up the back door of the bus and started letting people on. Shortly after she got on the bus she and everyone that came on with her were hauled off the bus and put in a paddy wagon and arrested. LMAO this was NOT funny when she came home that night so we giggled and laughed in private until she got over it and now laughs at it too. The guy needless to say was not a plain clothes cop and he was also arrested. You have to know this woman to get the best of this story but trust the shit is still laugh out loud funny at every family function.

Josh Billings

Another curious moment, Josh Billings from the Previous Quote of the Day Post was the pen name of humorist born Henry Wheeler Shaw (1818 – 1885)

Click the link below if you wanna know...


Josh Billings

Francis P. Duffy

BTW

From the previous post just cause I was curious Francis Duffy (1871 - 1932) was a Roman Catholic priest. Click the link below if you wanna know...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Francis_P._Duffy

I'm Not One to Perpetuate Rumors But...

They do look alike...

I'm just saying...

Sometimes....

I think I'm too smart to be watching reality TV, seriously there is a Rock of Love charm school coming on soon. People, have we forgotten this ish so soon from the last charm school?....





*sigh*

Pimp Down!!

So I didn't make it through work today, and if you have been reading the previous posts, you can understand why I don't feel bad for leaving early. I feel like crap and I took theraflu but it's not making me feel better. I absolutely HATE being sick because I get ugly sick. I try to stay away from people when I'm sick because y'all, I get UGLY sick. So ugly that I have to tell this story to explain. When I turned 21 and I needed my license renewed I kept putting it off and putting it off until the deadline hit and my Mom gave me the Mrs. Boss stare down and told me to get my ass to the secretary of state immediately. Well on this particular day I was just on the other side of a battle with the stomach flu (and actually this post is therapeutic because I remember that shit and I thought for a while there, as I was hugging the toilet and camping on the bathroom floor, that I would die and it kind of makes this feel like cake). So, I'm busted, y'all BUSTED standing in the Secretary of State with the chills shivering like Halle in Loosing Isiah to get my new picture taken with the over 21 background. Long story short my ugly sick face was forever captured in the State of Illinois database and on my license.

So now every time I go out and the bouncer checks my ID at the door it never fails, they always look at the picture and at me and back at the picture and say "Damn". It's so bad that I'm like embarrassed to show it in stores when they ask for my ID for credit card purchases. I was in the airport just recently and a friendly security guy was flirting with me while checking my ticket and ID to go through security, he was in the middle of another compliment when his eyes fell on that picture and his eyes snapped back up to my face and this fool had the nerve to ask had I had surgery! About a year ago I lost my purse in the midst of a shopping frenzy in Target and after I cried my damsel in distress act in the parking lot it dawned on me like hey, stupid you lost that horrible license you get to get a new one. So my husband and I went to the Secretary of State and I got extra fly, did my hair cute. Got the most of the money I've given Sephora and did a professional worthy make-up look that would work well with the exceptional lighting they use to take the license photos. So I get up to the counter and the old hag at that station asked what I wanted, looks at me from head to toe and says "You know you can't take a new picture for a lost license, right?" I fronted like I knew that and I actually get this perfect to run errands all the time, flashed her a patented black girl thank-you-bitch smile and moved on. My husband laughed at me the whole way out of the place cause my fly pretty ass just went and picked up an ugly ass license. Damn Secretary of State.

So here's to my immune system, may it get it's shit together soon so I can go outside again without the fear of scaring small children.

Hubby Got Me Sick

My husband brought home a God awful cold last week and guess who picked it up when he dropped it? I seriously feel like someone scrapped me off the bottom of their shoe this morning so, to make myself feel better below is my favorite Tom & Jerry... (yeah I'm a big kid and cartoons make me feel better when I'm sick what you wanna do about it?)




Uncle Pecos breaks it down with the foot work in the beginning, you scared. Hilarious

Hmmm...

I wonder how many white foster and adopted children are placed in Black families, I would be interested in seeing the numbers on that.

Ahhh Love...

Even though I didn't fully understand this union initially, it is cute to see it still going strong. Janet looks fab by the way, and happy.

Gross

I saw this on my way to the airport this morning. You can't see all of what it says but it's a sign for some social club's annual fish & shrimp boil in River Forest. Now I have never had the pleasure of eating boiled shrimp and fish but that shit sounds like Ugh

I Blame BET

60 Questions People Dont Ask

When's the last time you ran?

Sunday, I was being chased

Do your jeans have rips, tears, and holes in them?

Yes a few pair do, on purpose I bought them that way

What are you dreading right now?

Going to Ohio tomorrow

Do you celebrate 420?

Yes

Do you get the full 8 hours of sleep a night?

No

If anyone came to your house on your "lazy days" what would ya'll do?

Watch my DVR episodes of Gilmore Girls and Martin

Who last grabbed your ass?

My Hubby this morning

Have you ever been on your school's track team?

Yes, because I had a fierce crush on the coach not because I wanted to be an athlete

Do you own a pair of Converse?

Yes red chucks

Did you copy and paste this survey?

No

Do you eat raw cookie dough?

No

Have you ever kicked a vending machine?

Kicked, hit, shook, tipped damn I sound violent

Don't you hate it when the radio ruins good songs by playing them over and over?

I don't listen to the radio, I boycott that shit

Do you watch Trading Spaces?

Used to when it had a huge buzz, but now only when I'm surfing and land on HGTV

How do you eat oreos?

I don't, I'm not a cookie kind of girl

Have you ever stayed online for a very long time waiting for someone?

No

Are you cocky?

Yes

Could you live without a computer?

No

Do you wear your shoes in the house?

No, I only wear shoes when absolutely necessary or when the shoes are fab any other time I'm like a barefoot country girl

Who or what sleeps with you?

My Hubby and my fur balls

At what age did you find out that Santa wasn't real?

9 but I kept up the illusion for my Mom till I was 11, my jealous brother spilled the beans

How many phones, house phones and cell phones are in your house?

3 two cells and a land line

What do you do when you're sad?

Cry, listen to sad music, try to turn it into anger

Who would you call first if you won the lottery?

My mom and no one else, I don't need anybody standing around with their hand out

Last time you saw your best friend?

Damn, labor day we need to hook up

Are you in high school?

No, thank God

What jewelry are you wearing?

Diamond studs and nothing else

Is anyone on your bad side now?

Yes, the peacock and Baby Huey

What's the first thing you do when you get online?

check my email

Do you watch Grey's Anatomy?

used to when there was still a big buzz

How do most people spell your name?

Kanila

Would you wear a boy/girlfriends clothes?

Yes, my Hubby sings Kanye's Flashing Lights every time I'm caught in his wife beaters or t-shirts

Where do you work?

Hell

What are you doing tomorrow?

Flying to Ohio for a branch visit

Is Justin Timberlake becoming the next Michael Jackson?

Impossible, MJ is a legend and will never be duplicated

Favorite name for a girl?

Dayla

Favorite name for a boy?

Damon

Will you keep your last name when you get married?

Hyphenated, maybe it depends

When was the last time you left your house?

this morning

Do you return your cart?

nope

Do you have a dishwasher?

no

What noise do you hear?

the elevator dinging

Would you survive in prison?

nope, I'm a princess and proud of it

Who is the youngest in your family?

me :-)

If all of your friends were going on a road trip, who would most likey overpack?

me :-)

Do you know anyone with the same name as you?

Nope I'm one of a kind

What's the last thing you purchased?

alcohol last night

Do your siblings ever pay for stuff for you?

yes I'm the baby, duh

What brand are your pants right now?

The Limited

Ever been to Georgia (the state)?

Yes, Hotlanta

What irritates you most on the internet?

Spam, and excessive ads

What brand is your digital camera?

don't have one

Do you watch movies with your parents?

yes

What song best describes your life right now?

"Everything I Am" Kanye West

Do you own expensive perfume/cologne?

Yes, cause cheap is offensive to everyone around you trust me on this

Are you taking college classes right now?

No

Do you like sushi?

Yes

Do you get your hair cut every month?

No

Do you go online everyday?

Yes

Will you pass this survey on to 5 people?

Probably not

Take This Survey at Quizopolis.com
http://www.quizopolis.com/survey/4725/60-Questions-People-Dont-Ask-Survey/

Everything but the Right Thing

I wonder why it is that I can not do what I'm told.  Wait, seriously I sound like my mother talking to me when I was in grade school but, it's true.  I'm a card carrying procrastinator, never been to a meeting because I can never seem to leave home on timeJ.  I've written to-do lists, action plans, and agendas but I still can't kick my ass in gear, it's crazy. 

 

At first I blamed it on my problem with authority because I swear I could be so excited about doing something but the moment someone even suggests that I do it I loose all interest.  I can't have anyone telling me what to do and that shit is severe, I've even decided not to go see movies because someone said, "you have to see this movie!"  What is that?  But now I disrespect my own authority on myself!!  I tell my self, self you have to do A, B, and C this morning and I still won't do it.  I have to have freedom and the ability to go on my own steam with no rules, orders or direction.  I know this isn't realistic but a girl can dream can't she?

What Up World? (Test)

They finally turned the fucking mic on :-)