In Somebody Else's Bed

It's not what you think I'm in a hotel :-)

My travels for the day are finally over and after a less than appetizing dinner from Olive Garden (WTF, I'm in Canton, OH. No disrespect Ohio dwellers) I'm ready for bed chilling watching the Notebook. Seriously I so should not be watching this right now because it breaks me apart errrtime and on top of that I'm missing my husband. I always miss him like crazy when I'm on the road. So much of our lives are wrapped up in each other it's like I'm half of me when he's not around that shit is crazy.

He did call and give me the guilt trip again a minute ago because he deals with our separations that way, no hard feelings I just know that's how he is. I try to keep my trips to two to three days tops so it's not that bad but sleeping is hard as hell with out my strength wrapped around me. Our 2 year anniversary is Saturday and it already feels like a lifetime. My girl asked me if I ever worry about it fading you know when we're 40 and tripping off the mid life and all that shit and I don't. I look forward to maturing with him, hell I look forward to helping him look for his teeth when we're 80 I just know. I just knew when we chose each other for life, he's part of me. That's the thing about love, it just turns you out.

So I have two 4 hour training sessions tomorrow so I hope my voice can hold up for the long haul. The worst part about training is the blank stares you get when you fish for feedback and questions. You just feel like a dumb ass standing there like "Questions, Comments?" *crickets* Oh and get this the training is about diversity so how bout that this little black girl training all of these people on diversity at a time like this. I'm so much younger than most of the people in the company and I have a position of authority so people already have a problem accepting me so for me to come around talking about race, ethnicity and cultural differences among others is a trip to me. That will be my little inside amusement to help me through this long day. I just realized how much more optimistic and upbeat I am when I'm on the road as opposed to being in the office with all those birds and bitches. I've never been confused at where my unhappiness in my work comes from but when I'm away I realize more and more how they affect my mood and performance. I really need to get out of there, I can't stay on the road and sacrifice my family and I can't continue to work there and sacrifice my sanity. My husband finishes school in November and following that we'll have the resources for me to pursue my dreams and that's just what I'm gonna do. We talked about again this evening and he's anxious to repay the favor for taking the lead lately while he's struggling with school. I don't plan on staying home for long though just long enough to focus 100% on building my business and my family.

So, I can't wait for November cause that's my month of happiness. My 25th B-Day squared is on the 12th and my baby will realize his dream in the last week of November. Scorpios stand y'all freaky asses up LOL

Look Out ANNNNNND a Stoolie

Shortly after I arrived at work this morning Baby Huey walked past my office door as stealth as a 6'2 250++ woman can be and scurried out of the hall door located just to the left of my door. Then she comes back in the door, and 2 seconds later the peocock comes in the door like her stupid ass stood out there and counted. She came in here trying to go a little batty on me but I answered her questions with a smile and that sweet IamMe charm and sent her on her way. Just for good measure I sent her a spreadsheet I worked on last night seconds later with a Thanks! at the end of the email. Huey has it in for me for real, and the peacock is a sheep following her emotions like they're her own.

Yesterday we were supposed to have our monthly staff meeting and the peacock canceled it via email and copied everyone in the department besides me. I didn't even say shit I just left for a long lunch and said fuck em. Please let somebody respond to one of the hundreds of resumes I've been sending off into monster land, please. They better be lucky I need health benefits for our soon to be pregnancy because I would leap out on faith and rid my self of this stress I don't need.

Oh update on the new girl, just like I suspected she is not a good fit. The first day she was here she came in to sit with me for a while so we could talk about what she does for me. I start going through all this stuff and I notice she's not writing any thing down hell she didn't even have a note pad! So I'm like okay, what have you learned so far (this was her second day and the training on the assistant position is intense) she looks at me with a blank stare and says I don't know. *crickets* So I'm like you won't really see me too much in the mornings I'm usually in about 8:45 or 9, I usually come in a little later because I stay later and plus I'm salary so the hours are more flexed. She goes yeah you probably won't see me this early no more either I live too far away to be getting up that early. *crickets* She's hourly and she starts at 8 and needs to punch in at 8. That shit is crazy and this is the candidate that the Peacock and Huey wouldn't let us interview now I see why. Usually myself or one of my counterparts will interview the assistants because they don't work for us but the work they do is "for" us. This girl they wouldn't let us interview, just told us she had the job. Seriously I'm so happy it happened like that because when she fails to retain yet another employee it won't be the black girls fault.

LOL I told her "see you tomorrow!" the other day as she was leaving for the day and she replied, yeah maybe. LMAO I'm just sitting back and watching this shit fall apart.

Angry Black Woman Syndrome

Soooo...... remember the "teamwork" meeting that I was supposed to have with my boss this morning? Yeah so no surprise here but that meeting was actually about me. I come in the meeting and my boss opens up with, Well Dumbass (the nickname I have for the dumb little bitch behind the meeting) has considered leaving her position here because of your attitude and because she can't approach you. What!?!?!? Ya'll I went ape shit in this meeting and I don't think any of them bargined for what they got. I drove hard on Dumbass and forced her to give me examples of this alleged attitude and she had none so we moved on the the next topic.

There is a new person starting and reporting to Baby Huey tommorrow and she's trying to throw her lack of management skills off on me. She has had 4 people that report to her leave in the last 2 years. First she came to me and told me that she feels threatend by me because the people that report to her would rather talk to me than her. There's nothing I can do about that, I can't help having this personality and plus people will want to be around you naturally if you have a pleasant disposition and treat people half as nice as you'd like to be treated. I even went so far as cutting off contact with her employees on a personal level but again if you have poor management skills it will still effect. She starts going into how it used to frustrate her when one of her former employees said my name. Again, What!?!?!?! WTF am I supposed to do about that. Is that my problem? I'm going to make it my business to stay so far away from this new chick as possible. So when she fails at managing yet another employee maybe my boss will wake up and smell the shit someone smeared all over our department.

So, you know I'm going OFF at this point because the meeting was pointless and they thought I would just sit there and let them accuse me of angry black woman syndrome and put my thumb in my mouth. I wasn't rude or ignorant but I didn't take no shit off them either. I explained to both Dumbass and Huey that if they have a question or issue, work related, my door is always open and they can feel free to ask me whatever at will. I don't care about your kids, dog, husband, house or any other asinine shit about your personal life. So at this point Huey is ready to cry and she says, I just want a comfortable working relationship, and I said like the kind where you can ask a question and get a comprehensive answer? She said yes and I asked so how is that different from what has happened up until this point? She couldn't say anything and excused herself from the room.

Then once her posse was gone the Peacock flipped sides and agreed with everything I said, co-signing like that shit was going to make all this better. I told her I didn't appreciate being blind sided with this. Her response was I wanted to talk to you about the nature of this meeting this morning but I didn't get a chance because I arrived late this morning. I just looked at her, the meeting notice went out on Thursday and I talked to her 3 times Thursday and twice on Friday not including the hour long conference call we had Friday afternoon. Miss me with the bullshit because I'm not buying it. She had no intention of telling me what the real deal was and I'm no longer interested.

Hopefully I will be able to channel the bullshit of today into my focus to get away from this place and corporate Amerikkka as a whole. Hopefully by the time I make it to my car tonight I will have channeled this into a positive energy.

Planes, Trains and Automobiles

Whew! I am on my way back to the Go, I'm waiting for my flight in Dayton airport. I've been in Lima, it was a good trip but a safety audit, 2 marathon long business calls about some nastiness in one of my other branches and an hour long conference call and I'm wiped. Even when I leave the state the peacock is still fucking with me. I have to have a teamwork meeting with her and Baby Huey Monday, whatev. It's messed up cause I know what happened to everyone else is about to happen to me, anytime there is an issue with Baby Huey she's never wrong and the other person is forced to apologize in writing. Well I just might be losing my job Monday or pissing my boss off so much that she fires me eventually cause I won't be apologizing to her not now not ever.

This all started when she and I were talking one day and I stumbled upon a thought that was a good idea to act on. We brainstormed and she did put in 1 or 2 good points so I'll give her credit for that. We went to talk to my boss and during the meeting she portrayed the idea like her own, I didn't trip. My boss told us to write a proposal to submit to the President of the company. I wrote the proposal till 3 in the morning and sent it to her the next day to look over for grammer and error for a double check. She took it and turned it in as her own, I tripped and pulled out of the project let her fall on her face. Then after was promoted to Manager in a meeting my counterpart announced it and she rolled her eyes making everyone come to me afterwards wanting to know what she has against me. Strike three. She used to come in my office EVERYDAY, this is not an exaggeration, and cry about one thing or another. I cut that shit out only to have the peacock come to me about a week later asking why I don't invite Huey to lunch more often and ask her about her personal life, no lie. I went to my boss and explained to her exactly why I didn't want to work with her on any projects and why I didn't want to know her on a personal level and she acted like she understood obviously not or maybe she's having one of those pesky bouts of amnesia she has but now I have to have a fucking team meeing with this insufferable bitch to repeat what has already been said and I won't be nice. Both of them can miss me with the emotional bullshit they're kicking cause I have NO patience for that shit in the workplace. You know men expect us to be crying emotional wrecks in the workplace and she proves them right it sickens me. Flights boarding I'll rant later.

The Blues

This morning like every morning is hard. And because the peacock was crazy yesterday I know from experience that today will only be worse. I feel like I'm whining about this but for real I need to get out of there cause it's affecting my spirit at this point.

The only reason I haven't flat out quit is because we still have at least 2-3 months until my hubby finishes school which will make us not as dependant on my job and because we are trying to have a baby and I could use the benefits from my job for that at least for a few extra months. It's just hard for Miss Independent to have to take shit off anyone cause I need something from them.

Whatev, I'm just praying for freedom or bird catchers

The Peacock is Crazy!!

I call my boss a peacock cause she kinda resembles one and she’s always hopping around poking into things like a bird and frightens easily. She peaks and valleys with the crazy but today that shit is full on bananas. She always changes things around that she says to you or lies and tells you she said something when she really didn’t. But, today crazy was at an all time high. There’s some things changing with my position and she expected me to freak out about it but I didn’t and I think that annoyed her so now she’s manipulating things to make me freak out but I’m Teflon so I’m chillin’. She moved up the changes from nov-dec to a couple weeks from now and then got mad because I wasn’t freaked. I swear she told me 3 bold face lies today and turned around to tell my coworkers the truth (co-workers that I drink with on regular basis LMAO). She always makes a big deal out of stuff that has absolutely no urgency, she’s just crazy. The only person that thinks she’s normal is her “teachers pet”, my co-worker whom I can’t stand, Baby Huey. Literally 6’2 at least 260lbs and cries like her dog died everyday about something, anything no lie. My life is a reality show, for real.

Corporate Amerikkka

Oh My life *sigh*

I'm in my ergonomically correct cell waiting on 5pm. This mf'er blows believe me, I sit all day with fake smiles and fake interest in boring convo's trying to figure out how much longer Miss Independent will last. Someday soon if God is at least conscious I will be emancipated but I'm still waiting on the text message.